**DRamAtiCaLLy UniqUE** ~~MATZ~~

Let me tell you a story
About a distraught maiden
Who has no roads to choose
No paths to lead her
Aimlessly strolling to find her brink of deliverance
To save her from evil
Lost by love
Saved by courage
Murdered by some
Living a silent life within
Waiting for the one to save her
Will he..

Mood:cranky

9th-Apr-2008 12:44 am - :l

Thirudiya idhayathai,
Thiruppi kooduthuvidu,
Kaadhalaa,
Yen kaadhalaa,
Yen kaadhalaa,

Varudiya kaattrukku,
Vaarthai sollividu,
Kaadhalaa,
Yen kaadhalaa,
Yen kaadhalaa,

Sirikkira sirippai niruthividu,
Paarkkira paarvaiyai maranthividu,
Paesira paechai niruthividu,
Pennae, yennai maranthuvidu,
Uyirae, maranthuvidu,
Ooravae maranthuvidu,
Anbae vilagividu,
Yennai vaala vidu,

Kangal modhallaam,
Ithu vantha kaadhalaa?
Ninaithaenae,
Naan ninaithaenae,
Oosi thoorallaal,
Nee paesu kaadhalaa,
Thavithaenae,
Naan thavithaenae,
Kaatraay maari kaadhalikkiraen,
Kannae oru moorai swaasam kol,
Naanum unnai samanthikkiraen,
Endrae ingoru vaarthai sol,
Mannavannae, mannavannae,
Uyiril uyiraay kalanthavanae,

Naetru poluthulla,
Naan kanda kanavulla,
Paarthaenae,
Unnai paarthaenae,
Kaadhal vayasila,
Naan aitho ninappilla,
Thudithaenae,
Naan thudithaenae,
Idhayathodu idhayam saerthu,
Oru moorai aavathu poottikol,
Kangalodu kangal vaithu,
Oru moorai aavathu paarthukol,
Kaadhalanae, kaadhalanae,
Vaalvae oonakkaena vaalgiraenae,

Mood:frustrated

18th-Jan-2008 12:23 pm(no subject)

**Sense of excitement arouses..

**Hmm.. Busy Busy..

**My first few steps to my dreams..

**Excitement is arousing in me.. BIG TIME..!! hahah..! at the same time.. i dun think i can handle it.. how m i gonna work...hmm.. lets juz see how things go..! o ya! btw! i m goin onto yr 2.. but.. my GPA sucks totally.. how is it having a D for 2 modules.. damn.. sucking the blood out of me.. O well.. i had a career fair yest and i guess my dream is going a step higher now.. I plan to get through NTU and do a degree in Communications and Information.. GOD PRESS ME!!! hahahahah!! hopefully.. *fingers crossed..
Awaiting holidays somehow do excite me and bring my hopes really high to the brink. *pauses* well, hopefully, good things happen to me.. My love life is kinda shitty.. we always keep argueing. Hmm.. sometimes i really feel one of us has to go and do an op to remove our voice boxes. WE SIMPLY DONT SHUT UP!!!
o well.. leaving that aside, i need to lose some weight.. LOL.. i have found some good friends over the past month and lost some.. I really think i need to give some people a taste of their own medicine.. what to do.. some people are so full of themselves. I just hope they will just die. GRR!
okok! i dun wish to end of with a angry note. Alright.. i wil update you on my current endeavour more..!! stay tuned! :)

Mood:artistic

23rd-Dec-2007 12:26 am - saddening..

It has been a week.. and its my sem 2, 3 weeks hols currently. I hav been draining myself wif dance training. Preparing for my dance competition coming up in 5 days.
So much stuff has happened..
Nothing has changed. Stil the same tough life.. Picking up on ciggs.. damn tht..
juz feelin really down.. Eyes sore from crying..
Love is juz like cancer.
It kils u slowly bit by bit.
BUt the thgt of it now juz makes me so angry. Y do ppl do this to me.. Y cant they leave me in peace.
Well..
no mood to blog.
so see ya soon

Mood:angry

14th-Dec-2007 05:18 pm - Depiction of THYSELF

Depiction of thyself

What has become of me

A totally different one it is

Stranded in a long lost dimension I am

An infant deprived of milk that is

I have been through a dream all this while

Time to wake up and stretch

Look over my shoulder and study the horizon

Anger, despair, deprived, death

What do I do

Where do I go

Its overtaking myself that I do not want to

It’s killing me second by second

The guiltiness is a leech

Sucking up every drop of blood of me

It angers me to see love around me

It angers me to see happiness happening around

It mocks me with a sly grin

I didn’t do it in purpose

I just want to be teleported to faraway land

How I wish to

Cast away where I can be freed of all

Please do not disturb

~MATZ

Mood:grumpy

13th-Dec-2007 03:25 pm(no subject)

**something close to my heart

Mommy, today is my birthday. I am 4 months old.

Mommy I have toes and I am a girl. Mommy, Please don't be sad any more.

Mommy what is that doctor saying mommy? What is an abortion mommy?

Mommy I love you. Mommy I can fall asleep to your heartbeat.

Mommy do you love me?

Mommy I am in heaven now Mommy. God told me what an abortion is Mommy.

Mommy why didn't you want me? Why don't you love me?

Mommy why can't I ever see the light of day? Mommy I still love you.

Mommy God will take care of me now and I will be loved .

Mommy today is my birthday I am 5 years old now and I still don't understand why you didn't want me mommy

Mommy! You came to see me Mommy!

Mommy what happened to you? You don't know your little girl anymore mommy? You don't love me Mommy? Why did I have to die Mommy?
Mommy I still love you

Mood:depressed

3rd-Dec-2007 04:14 pm - Upset and Elighted

Hey peeps... Here i m in class.. after being a chair judge for debating.. sitting thru 6ppt..bored to death.. Well.. i m being confused but at the same time i hav found a new LOVE!!!! KRISH!!!

Haha! Well.. yesterday.. i went for Vasantha Oli show at bukit panjang.. I went there wif Rose, Durga, her sis. My sis, Ravin and Kattae.. The show was freaking crowded. BUt IT WAS GREAT!!!! I met KRISH!! and Chinmayee.. It was so so so fun! He gave me a ROSE!! and we took a pic together too!! WEEEE!! JUNE PONA JULY KAATRAE!! He was the guy who sang that!! omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well.. i have another huge confusion in my head now.. But i just dunno how to put it.. I dun wan any relationships at all. But ppl are not leaving me alone. It is just so irritating. I have already so many things in my head! WHy cant ppl think of me as a friend only.. DAMN! I am gona start being mean and a loner.

ANother major confusion... i have a huge huge problem. Guess he is not gonna play a part in it.. How m i gona solve the problem.. Hope i find a solution asap. Or else i m gonna be digging my own grave.. o god.. What did i do to go thru all this. I m not only gonna spoil my life. Damn.. Feel like just ending everything.

Mood:depressed

29th-Nov-2007 12:12 am - Wad a un "LUCKY" day...

           Heyo! I m back.. seems i m gettin addictive.. which means i m going to bore you peeps with my life everyday..!!!!

        OK! Whats with my subject u may ask.. Well it does speak for itself. I hwas being stalked by this 17 year guy.. claiming he is VJC..and is on a scholarship from Aus to Singapore. *yea rite* He happens to be my bestie's brother's friend. Apparently he wanted to get to know me as a friend so i guess there was no harm. He added me on msn and started chatting. When i asked for his name i got a shock. His name remined me of a "pet's" name. LUCKY!!!! I m not joking! he claimed his nick name as Lucky..! L.O.L. I and my friend just talked to him thinking of no harm. He slowly got my hp number and started smsing and calling me. I became reluctant. So i tried not to answer his calls. He wanted to meet up and i insisted i bring my bestie along. So we met up at lot 1 on Saturday. HIs initial plea was to go to the beach!!!! Or to Bukit Gombak park or something. I was scared to my wits. I was thinkin what the hell!! IWhat is this boy trying to do. I thought he was some harmless kid trying to make friends with people. So we thought of entertaining this boy.

        He just reminded me of "kathal kondein Danush". He was this nerdy studious boy. He talked normaly. BUt he was too pitiful. So i and my bestie bought him a pencilcase as a gift and told him to study hard and take this gift from us your sisters! We stressed the word SISTERS..! That d**khead didnt get it.

        From that day he started msning, smsing and calling me the next day itself. I knew something was wrong when he started msging stuff like you are so cute.. can i be your close friend.. can i be with you forever.. can we met now i cant wait... DAMN!! I WAS SO F***ING PISSED. I blocked him off msn and totaly ignored him there and then. This damn crap arse's intetntion was so damn cheap. I even called him brother. WTH!! But he didnt stop harassing me. He kept calling and smsing. I didnt bother. I made it clear to him on that Saturday that i just want him to be my friend and thats all. He had the cheek to call me down to places like the beach!!!! I also received a love poem in my friendster and 2 photo coments saying 'You are mine' and ' You stole my heart'. WAD AN ASS.

        Today in class.. my classmate was mentioning something about sombody harassing his girlfriend. I just asked details out of curiosity. I found out that my whole class boys were waiting to wack the shit out that fellow who is harassing my friend's gal. Suddenly the word 'Lucky' was mentioned!!! IT WAS THE SAME ASS!! OMG!! The cheek of that bastard. I was too alarmed and just blurtd it out that it is the same guy who has been harassing me. MY class got so furious and so ready to wack him!! They asked me to lay a bait for him by asking him to come down to Causeway Point and planned to wack him there.

        But it turned out that we actually wanted to save him from bleeding so 3 of my indian guy friends including the boyfriend and me went down to causeway. When he came he was shivering down to his pants. He was frightened and shocked to see me backed up with 3 bodyguards!! lol! kidding la! He had no idea that me and the gal's boyfriend are classmates. We gave him a warning. Lol! Poor litle boy.. Scared down to his wits.. They made sure he deleted both mine and the gal's number.

       I bet he wil never turn back on us anymore. If he does.. he knows he will be crawling back home or hopping with a leg to India. Damn him. By the way..!! Thanks to the heroes who wanted to break his face and to the threesome heroes who gave him a warning of his life!!

E36A RoCkS!!!

Mood:annoyed

27th-Nov-2007 10:34 pm - JB!! AfteR yEarS.. ShoPPiNg TiLL I dRoPPeD..

---- Danga Bay

----- A Roadshow On Different Types Of Kampong Houses In Malaysia..

----- Me & My Sis

     After like about a decade later.. I went to Malaysia; JB today with my sis and her colleagues.. I dragged myself from bed today at about 9 plus in the morning.. Yeap! You are right..! i had pronounced my own public holiday today..! haha! Went to meet my sister's colleagues and we left for JB.

      I left very alienated when i reached there.. It looked very different then what i faintly remember 10 years ago. hmm.. ok.. I was greated by ciggie vendors out JB customs.. Though i was tempted.. i just walked away..

      We went to City Square to start of our shopping spree.. I just got "SO" excited that i started goin to shops and looking at clothes and assessories and started picking at those i wanted. I really shopped what i really could..! My whole shopin spree is made up of
*1 long sleeved blouse
*1 lacy blouse
*2 tight tees
*3 pairs of earings
*2 packets of bubble gum
*1 pair of sandals
*1 stripped scarf

      LOL!! I enjoyed myself today!! Also.. i got quite embarassed when the sales people approached and talked to me in Malay and all i did was to stare at them blankly.. I didnt understand them and had to find for my sister's friend to help me out. aiyo! O Ya!! Also.. i got a few stares from guys.. indian guys.. Lol.. i got freaked out.. One actually followed behind and kept chuting. lol..!

     The practices and cultures in Malaysia really differs fom Singapore.. I realised that. I ordered Marrybrown tower burger meal and the meal arrived quite cold and the drink without gas. *humph* Also.. when i took the cab. the prices wil be told by the driver before hand.There was no meter. That was really very new for me and that felt odd.

      However i did enjoy myself!! I made up my mind to visit Malaysia often and very SOON!!!

LOVE YOU RSHINI

Mood:cheerful

26th-Nov-2007 10:18 pm - DURGARSHINI

Heyy.. i couldnt take it.. I feel that by "live journaling" i feel so much better. My burden is lifted to a certain extent. Well.. as i comin back today, my mum rang me up. "Mathu.. ur dad has decided in sending rshu back to india. So he wants to take a photograph. What you wan to.." before she completed her sentence i hung up the phone. I just started tearing in the bus itself. The feeling of separating from that flower pierced my heart deeply. Haizz.. That baby has been my companian since she opened he eyes to see this world.. I still remember when i held her in my arms.. So small and fragile. Haizz.. I cant bear to leave her. I cant see her suffer in tht rural place. The place where she is going to go is basically a village. How can she survive there.. *sobs*

Rshini seemed more of my baby.. i cant bear the thought of not hearin her screaming or her baby talk for even a night.. She alwayz comes up to me and pokes my nose sayin the word 'athai' meaning auntie in tamil. She loves to grab my glasses and throw it down to the floor. Although i used to wack her on her butt for tht.. i wan her to do tht more.. Coz i m gonna miss her naughtiness. I want her to be puling my hair and throw my handphone down. I want my baby back. I dun want to leave her. I have lost enough in life.. I dun want to lose another..

Rshini.. please dun leave me di.. Your auntie cant live without you da.. PLEASE...
I LOVE YOU
*sob*

Mood:sad

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